I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
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