Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
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