who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
