so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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