Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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