Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
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