White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
