I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
