there were more penises there than on chat roulette
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
