I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
