he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
