Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
