at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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