yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
