I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
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