So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
