Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Randomize
