Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize