last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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