I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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