He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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