How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
