I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
