How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
