Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
