there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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