Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
