Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
