I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
