Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
