You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
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