hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
