she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
