Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
