wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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