There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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