You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
