she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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