Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
My liver just had a heart attack.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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