I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
