i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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