I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
love makes seman taste better
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
