went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
