i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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