but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
