Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Randomize
