Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
