Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
