i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize
