Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
