Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
