TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Randomize
