Define "chronic" masturbator.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Randomize
