i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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