school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Best friends brother. Beat that.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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