he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
