So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
