you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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