The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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