i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
ttyl tear gas
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
