Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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