it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
