Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I smell like Dick and happiness
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize