My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
