if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
