i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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