Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
my being single is dangerous.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
