Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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