3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
