butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
